My thoughts on "Dances with Woads/The DragonRiders of Perndora" aka Avatar


Easily the most original screenplay since Police Academy 6. If Cameron has heard of the concepts of originality or character development he has clearly decided he wants nothing to do with either. One, and only one, spoiler to illustrate - the precious commodity the greedy Earthers want to steal from the innocent noble savages is called unobtainium?! Why not be upfront and just call it takeyourcashium? The 3D effects were the best I've ever seen by a long way. I will be generous and as complimentary as possible and say that the movie was banal, cliched to the extreme and trite. Those were its strong points. A race of goodhearted primitives (looking suspiciously lemur-like at times) need saving from evil corporates by a white male 'intruder' - if you're going to use a plot SO hackneyed, try to spice it up a bit, please!

I watch A LOT of Hindi films and 160-170 minutes is not out of the ordinary for them. Very few have ever felt as long as did Avatar, possibly because after 20 minutes I'd already written the script, successfully predicting pretty much everything that was going to happen and when. There were several moments that literally made me laugh out loud they were so bad, and the song over the end credits nicely summed up the entire movie - sounding EXACTLY like the truly ghastly Celine dion nightmare 'My Heart Will go on' from Cameron's last trip to the bank. Which of course brings up the delicious irony of a movie with a crudely unsubtle 'greedy capitalism bad, fuzzy gaianess good' message being the most expensive ever made and raking in the bucks like there was no tomorrow. I will end by stating that, despite the above I did not really dislike this movie, its awfulness was so epic as to be entertaining, and the 3D visuals were stunning.